Ratings: PG to NC-17 depending on the chapter
Word Count: 2202 (this chapter)
Disclaimer: This isn't real. It's make believe, just for fun.
Warnings: Angst, cursing, sex.
Summary: Some times the road is really long and painful but so worth the bumpy ride.
Authors note: I ship Adommy and this is an Adommy fic. In real life I am all for Adam's and Tommy's happiness. No matter who they might choose to be happy with! I am NOT hating on Sauli, not even in this fic!!
Beta: My wonderful friend I_Glitterz. Thank you so much honey.
The door slammed, and Isaac looked up from the suitcase he was unpacking. Tommy kicked the suitcase right after it hit the ground. Isaac frowned as his eyes followed every movement Tommy made closely, he knew Tommy, and right now it was time to be silent and wait, Tommy would tell him what his problem was as soon as he had calmed himself down a bit. So Isaac waited, and unpacked.
Tommy flopped down on his bed, and put an arm over his eyes, he was absolutely still for two minutes. Then he turned so he was on his stomach, he buried his head in the pillow and growled. Another five minutes went by.
Isaac realized that whatever it was that made Tommy hide like that, had to be serious. Isaac sat down and looked at him, then decided that maybe some sort of peace offering would help Tommy on the way. So he went to the minibar and found two beers and a bag of peanuts. He went back to sit next to Tommy, offering him the beer. Tommy took it and put it on the bed table, but didn’t say anything. He had moved up to the headpiece of the bed, his knees were pulled up under his chin and his arms snaked around his legs. He looked as if he tried to hold himself together. Isaac tried to get eye contact, but Tommy’s hair was in the way and when he brushed it away, Tommy deliberately looked down.
“Talk to me TJ,” Isaac’s voice was soft and low, but at the same time demanding.
“I hate myself too much to talk right now,” Isaac furrowed his brows; he didn’t see that one coming.
“You hate yourself??! Why on earth would you do that? What did you do?” Isaac took a sip of the beer and put it on the other bed table. He pushed a pillow behind his back; he was clearly going to be there for a while, might as well get comfy. Tommy looked at him, and Isaac saw how unhappy he was, this wasn’t a little thing, that’s for sure.
“I made a complete fool of myself, I got fucking jealous!!” Isaac realized that this was about Adam, but then again Tommy wasn’t the easiest person to throw off guard, and when he looked like this, it almost had to be about Adam. Isaac didn’t say anything, he just waited patiently.
“Remember when I told you about the talk Adam and I had about…… well, Adam and I?”
“You mean the agreement about ignoring the fact that there is ‘something’ between you. The decision to stay friends, and only friends?”
Tommy nodded and looked at the beer, he sighed as if he decided that he needed the liquid courage to go on. He almost finished the beer before putting it back on the table. Isaac was still observing him, not missing one little detail. His heart ached for his friend, but he knew that he wasn’t the one who could make Tommy’s pain go away, only Tommy could do that. But he could listen, and maybe even help to get some perspective on things. So again he pushed a little.
Tommy leaned forward and put his forehead on his kneecaps. His voice was almost fragile when he spoke.
“What if that was the biggest mistake of my life Isaac?” Tommy looked up, his eyes begging for Isaac to tell him that wasn’t the case.
“Do you want things to change?” Isaac asked. Tommy shrugged his shoulders.
“Don’t know, but I think I might have blown my chance to find out…….. and I feel like I am suffocating,” Isaac let a hand rub Tommy’s shoulder.
“Why… have you guys been fighting?”
“I wouldn’t call it a fight; he announced he had a date tonight! With a guy he’s apparently been talking to and flirting with for a while. And I just….. I couldn’t keep it together I felt so…” Tommy shook his head in disbelief.
“Jealous,” he looked at Isaac as if he desperately needed him to understand. “And I don’t EVER do jealous, that’s not me, not who I am.”
“Hmmm, go on,” Tommy bit his lips almost to the point of drawing blood. The pain felt liberating and present, removing some of the hurt inside.
“I was a bitch, a green eyed bitch. And I gave too much of myself away, asking him if it really was necessary to shove it in my face. You should have seen the look in his face…..don’t think I’ve ever seen him this…… angry, I guess.”
“So, you’ve been angry at each other before, that’s natural. You will work it out, you always do,” Isaac said trying to comfort.
“I know we will, he will forgive me. But what upsets me the most is that I turned into a person I don’t even recognize, I hate that! Not being in control of myself…… I totally deserve it if he ends up falling head over heels for this guy,” Isaac got an angry and disappointed look in his eyes.
“You don’t really believe that, do you? That you don’t deserve him? TJ, now you’re pissing me off. So he’s got a date, he’s been kissing plenty guys on tour….. and what if you’re jealous? That only means you care, that might be the biggest compliment he will ever get!! You need to figure out what it is that you want, and when you do, go after it. Put yourself out there, take a chance. You might get hurt doing so. But you might get the biggest fucking gift in the world too.” Tommy sends Isaac a shy look.
“So what do you want to do??” Isaac asked. Tommy frowned,
“Go out. Get really, really drunk, and forget myself!”
“That isn’t solving anything… but if that’s what you want, I’m going with you. Not leaving you alone like this, you’re a mess,” Tommy laughed, the sound coming out was nearly hysterical.
“I fucking know!!!”
Tommy’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket, looking at the screen. Adam. Tommy sighed as he answered. Isaac silently left the room giving Tommy some privacy.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“I know, that is what callers id is for, you know,” Tommy smiled, small sparks returned into his eyes.
“So, what the hell was that about Tommy? You can’t throw something like that in my face and just leave.” Adam’s voice was soft despite the words. Tommy sighed heavily.
“I’m sorry, I had no right…”
“Tommy, damn it, what got into you??”
“I’m sorry, and that is all you’re gonna get!!” Tommy hissed.
“Sorry for what exactly, being a bitch or leaving me there wondering what the hell went wrong…… you killed my happiness today. I’m so confused. A little help here…” Adam’s voice was still soft and that almost killed Tommy.
“Both. Sorry for both. Or all of it! Forget it ever happened and have fun tonight. Don’t what to kill your happiness. Never meant to.”
“Is that all I’m gonna get?? Really?” A bit of impatience had crawled into his voice now.
“I hate you! I won’t be able to think about anything else tonight!”
“Oh, I am sure you will. Have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tommy didn’t wait to hear Adam’s response. He threw his phone on the bed and got off it.
“Isaac?” Isaac popped his head in from the other room.
“You rang dear,”
“Hitting the bar now, wanna come?” Isaac nodded. He accepted that this was Tommy’s way to deal with things right now.
Hours later Tommy and Isaac are having a serious giggle fest in the bar of the hotel. They can’t even look at each other without bursting out; tears are rolling down Tommy’s cheeks. He is drunk, as drunk as he set out to be and Isaac is just as drunk. They attract a lot of glares, but that just sets them off again.
This is how Adam finds them when he returns from his night out. He hears the laughter and smiles down to his date, guiding him the way of the sweet sound of Tommy’s amusement. Adam is just so drawn to that sound, that he doesn’t even think about why he needs to see Tommy. When he reaches the bar Isaac spots him.
“Honey, we got company,” as he says so he put a hand on Tommy’s and give it a gentle squish, letting Tommy know who it is before he turns. Tommy’s eyes widen. Fuck this was not supposed to happen! This was supposed to be a night of denial, a fucking Adam-free night. Tommy’s laughter stops and he turn around to face his nemesis. The first person his eyes catches, is the fucking blond standing next to Adam – holding his hand. Tommy’s eyes wander to Adam and he slowly mutters a, “Hey,”
Adam returns it, as he let the beauty of Tommy’s face hit him in the gut like it always do, his eyes gets distracted by a tear caught in Tommy’s lashes, it sparkle like a little diamante, and before he can stop himself he catches it with his thumb. Tommy leans into the touch, his eyes close but Isaac snake an arm around Tommy’s chest and pull him in against his own, saving Tommy from himself.
“Hands off, he is mine tonight!! You got your own toy right there,” Isaac points at the blonde. Adam sends Isaac a look of confusion. What the fuck? Tommy gives Isaac a flirty look; he can’t help himself that’s just the way he is. If somebody wants to play, he plays along. He bats his lashes and makes his best Bambi eyes, and move a slender arm up and around Isaac's neck.
“Aaww babe, I’m your toy tonight? Are we finally putting our beds together?” Isaac burst into a loud laugh.
“Hell yeah, I could do with a kiss and a cuddle,” Tommy can feel the laughter building up in his chest again, no chance in hell he can hold it back, so he laugh into Isaac’s neck. Adam drags a hand through his hair and he looks somewhat frustrated. Tommy giggles again. Just can’t suppress it.
“Oops, did it again,” Isaac tilts his head, a quizzical look in his eyes makes Tommy answer right away.
“Got him angry! He only does that when he is mad at me…” Tommy visualizes Adam’s gesture by pulling his own hand through his hair, “..wonder what I did this time?” Adam opens his mouth to speak, but gets cut off by Isaac.
“Nothing babe,” he turns to look at Adam. His glare daring Adam to say otherwise and with a wink of an eye he says.
“Enjoy the rest of your night boss, I’m taking this cutie with me to bed,” he hugs Tommy from behind, “because two is a party, but three is a fucking crowd,” Tommy tries so hard to hold back another giggly attack, but loses. He focuses on Adam, or at least he tries too. Damn he is drunk. Isaac gets him guided off the chair, how he manages to is beyond Tommy, because he is just as drunk.
“Night, Babyboy,” Tommy is fucking proud of himself for holding back the laughter as well as sounding like he couldn’t care less about the blonde that obliviously is meant to spend the night in Adam’s bed. The guys lean on each other as they walk towards the elevator, trying to balance each other out. Tommy’s got an arm around Isaac’s waist and he leans into Isaac's ear whispering,
“Too bad I love your sweet wifey, I could really do with a kiss and a cuddle right now,” Tommy sighs heavily and Isaac smiles wickedly. He stops and turns around, throwing his arms around Tommy and gives him a huge hug, squeezing him tight, letting Tommy feel how loved and cared for he is. But comfort isn’t the only thing on Isaac’s mind. Maybe Tommy wasn’t the only one in need off a wakeup call. And judging by the look on Adam’s face, he might just get that call right now. Isaac smiled. Baby steps, right! But moving forward none the less.
“What was that about?” A soft voice asks Adam. He shakes his head, clearing his brain of confusing thoughts. What the fuck WAS that about? Tommy is acting all weird today and Isaac is what…Flirting with him?? And being all possessive. Like he fucking owns Tommy, NOBODY owns Tommy. And Isaac is married for crying out loud!!
He sees Isaac hugging Tommy, ever so tight. And Tommy seem to dive into it sooo fucking much, like he needs it to survive.
“Adam?” Adam looks at his date; he had a good time tonight, a really good time. And now….. well, he had just forgot about that other person right beside him. That was fucking scary!
“Sorry, Sauli! I have no idea what that was about! No idea,”
But silently Adam had to admit to himself that the idea of Tommy kissing and cuddling with someone else was killing him. Oh shit, he was in trouble. Tremendous trouble.