lovenhardt1 (lovenhardt1) wrote,

A Primal Right.

A Primal Right.
Author: lovenhardt1

Word Count: ~58.000. This chapter 2.268
Pairing: Adam/Tommy (Werewolf).
Warnings: Sexual content, minor character death.
Rating: NC17
Disclaimers: The people you might recognize in here are NOT mine. I'm not making any profit, I'm only doing this for fun. There is no way this ever happened and so on. Oh…. And werewolves don’t exist either…. Sowry.

Beta:thrace_adams. Thank you sweetie for all your help, I love you so much for it! All your hard work made mine shine.
Type: Werewolf AU. Romance with just enough angst to make it good.
A/N: This fic is written for my dear friend dkymekare because she loves wolves above.

I had some really incredible cheerleaders on this fic!!! I love you all dearly! And I couldn’t have done it without you! So THANK YOU!!!

Please do not link/copy/share/whatever this anywhere. Thank you.

Summary: You know that feeling of being in control? Of knowing what happens next? You’ve got it all worked out, knows it’ll be hard work but worth it. You’re so focused on carefully laid plans that you kinda forgot about you…. but then something or someone comes along and changes everything. Suddenly you’re not even in charge of your own heart anymore. Yeah. That’s what happened to me.

Sit down and let me tell you a story… you might want to put your legs up and get comfortable, we’ll be here for a while.

It all began a day I was letting my wolf have some fun in the woods…

Three fucking long days went by and I was restless. It felt like being on the edge, fidgeting and moving around all the time, my insomnia was having the time of its life and I needed to be back out in the woods, but the worried glances I kept getting from my mother, and Mia especially, made me force the wolf's need to run to the back of my mind. But my wolf was fighting me, he wanted to go back to the glade and revel in the scent of him before it disappeared for good. And if that wasn’t enough, my head was swarming with images of him. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t let him go.

Mike, my childhood friend and most beloved pack member, knew something was wrong and on the third day, early in the morning, he cornered me in the kitchen.

“Why aren’t you out there, it’s getting colder and the air smells like snow is close, you fucking live on that Ratliff. And it’s pretty obvious that it's where you want to be, so why are you driving all of us insane in here?

I just glared at him. I love the dude like a brother but every once in a while a guy’s got his reasons and doesn’t need anyone poking around in them. Hence me being quiet.

The thing about Mike is that he is like a wolf with a bone, and he wasn’t about to let me off the hook. Instead I got the firm, fucking determined out of his mind stare.

“Fine! You don’t want to share I get that. But know this! You leave me very few options here. We’re going out tonight.”

“Out?” I chirped. Mike rolled his eyes and went to get two mugs in the cupboard and then filled them with hot, aromatic coffee. He handed me one of the mugs, fucking lifesaver.

“Yeah, not wolf out because you’re fucking weird about that these days. We’re going barhopping, having a boys’ night out, you need to unwind. I’m getting you drunk and possibly setting you up with a chick and getting you laid. You’re getting on everybody’s nerves.”

“Bar-crawling?” The dude managed to make me laugh because you can always, and by that I mean always, count on Mike to find a reason to hit the bars. Not that I’m complaining.

He grinned and waved his mug in front of me, obviously trying to make a gesture I was supposed to decode. I couldn’t though. When I finally raised an eyebrow in a silent question, he continued, “Yep, so doll up tonight. I’ve found a place with live music and cheap booze.”

 “Okay. We’re going out tonight.”

A couple of hours later I was sitting on the porch, feet up on the banister, head thrown back and filling my lungs with pure and clean air. A truly pathetic attempt to make it up to the wolf. I had Manson blasting in my ears just to give me a little breathing room. The wolf still wanted to go back and was still pushing to take over. I smelled Mia’s presence and opened my eyes. She sat down next to me and removed my headphones and turned my head towards her with a firm grip on my chin. I got the ‘I’m talking and you’ll listen’ look from her and knew whatever she was up to, I would be disagreeing with her.

“You need to go out there,” she made a small nod against the woods. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“I’m good. And I’ll get out of your hair tonight. Mike and I are going out.”

She nodded, so obviously Mike had already told her that. “But you’re not good Tommy, and you can’t hide here forever. You’re killing your wolf.”

Like I didn’t fucking know that already. And I had my motives; I was doing this for her, for the pack. If it were just me, I would be out there rolling around on the dirt, making damn sure his scent was all over me. But it wasn’t about me. She should be giving me a medal not telling me I was handling things wrong.

“I told you I could handle it, this is me handling it!”

“No, baby, this is you suffocating, and if you don’t get out there today, you won't be able to control anything when he takes over and he will. He’s a strong as you and right now he’s struggling to let you have the control. We can all see it. So do you want me with you?”

I groaned loudly, knowing she was right. I had to face my demons and sooner was probably better than later. But I didn’t want her there. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this on my own.

“No, I don’t want you to go with me.”

“Mike then?”

“No, he doesn’t know why, he just knows I’m edgy. I can do this by myself, I’m a big boy.”

I got a small smile and a soft kiss on my forehead.

“Okay. I’ll come looking for you if you’re not back before dusk okay??”



I really thought I could pull it off. That I could control the wolf enough to stay away. But my wolf is as stubborn as I am and I had to admit that we were both craving it equally. It was a lost cause and soon enough I found myself sniffing the ground where he'd been lying, the scent still strong and fresh.  A small whimper emerged from my throat and I circled the place a few times, letting the remnants of his scent assault my senses.

I could totally try to bullshit and say that it was the warm ray of the sun that made me lie down in the exact spot, but I won’t. I did it because I needed the connection; I needed to feel close to him. And I did. For the first time in three days I felt at peace and I fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of a human getting close. I knew right away who it was, I felt his presence in every fiber in my body and I tensed. I knew I should get up and leave before he saw me; I still had the time to do it. But I couldn't, I just didn't have the strength. I sat up and waited, my body quivering with anticipation. And then he was there. Our eyes met across the clearing and we just stared at each other for a while. He didn’t look scared and when I sniffed the air the only scent coming from him was excitement. I was in so much trouble. When he finally spoke his voice washed over me and everything was right in the world again. That’s a terrifying feeling, knowing that you belong to someone that doesn’t have the faintest idea of what they do to you.

“Hey there.” He stepped closer; keeping his eyes on me the whole time, like he didn’t want to miss a thing, memorizing my every feature.

“You’re so beautiful. I wonder if you know just how gorgeous you are.”

God, he was killing me! He came closer, standing only a few feet away now. I kept calm but gave him a small warning not to get any closer. Just a low rumble and a flash of my canines. He laughed softly, and kept moving towards me.

“I’m not scared, why would I be? You saved my life.”


“I’ve been thinking about you!”

He was standing right in front of me now, our gazes locked. He did a little silly shrug with his shoulders.

“Yeah, practically every hour since you saved me. I’ve come out here every day for the last three days, hoping you’d show up. It's weird though, I’ve never felt this strongly about another being before.”

Fuck!!  Maybe he really did know what he did to me, or at least he felt it too. He just didn’t know what it was. This was bad news, it meant that even if this never went further, if we never saw each other again he would feel just as empty as me and yearn for something he would never understand. How the fuck was I supposed to live with that knowledge? I may very well have saved his life but when I did that I also took something valuable from him, the chance to find true happiness with another human being, he would have to settle now. This knowledge sucked and I wished I could make things better for him.

He knelt down so we were at the same level. Wonder and curiosity made his blue eyes sparkle.

“Do you understand me when you’re a wolf?”

 I tore my eyes from his gaze and demonstratively looked the other way.

He chuckled softly, “I think that maybe you do. You just don’t want me to think so. I’m Adam by the way.”

I returned to look at him. Tasting the name in my mind. Adam. It suited him. He reached out a hand to touch me but stopped right before he actually did.

“Can I touch you? I really want to. I’m dying to know if your fur is as soft as I imagine it is.” There was a plea in his voice and without even so much as a thought I pushed my head into his palm. He ran his fingers through my fur scratching me lightly like he would a dog.  But I’m guessing a dog wouldn’t feel the fireworks go off inside like I was. I nearly died from the pleasure of it. How was I supposed to fight this?

“Oh man it is.” He whispered, sounding a little wrecked. 

I inched a bit closer and sniffed the air around him.  It felt like I was cheating, I had every advantage here, but I didn’t care. His scent was pretty much like an open book to his emotions and I wanted to know everything. He reeked of happiness and a bit of nervous excitement flowed underneath but no angst. I dared to move a tiny step closer. This was pretty much what heaven must feel like, if there is one..

“Can we stay like this for a while?” he buried the other hand deep in my fur and caressed my ear gently. A low whiny sound escaped me and I heard the contentment in his voice when he asked me, “You feel it too don’t you? Like in some weird way we belong to each other?”

I wanted to change into my human form, I wanted to tell him that I felt it all, maybe even stronger because of the wolf, I wanted him to hold me in his arms, to roll around in the soft grass and rub against him, I wanted everything. But instead I licked his jaw and sniffed his ear making him giggle because it obviously tickled, “I wonder if it's because you gave me some of your blood, that’s gotta be powerful right?”

I put my head on his shoulder and he hugged me, pulling me in just a little tighter.

“I wished you would change for me so we could talk, I mean really talk not just me babbling on.”

I backed away and searched his eyes for a minute; I don’t know what he saw in mine because he smirked wickedly.

“Hmm, I guess the whole naked thing would make it a little strange though. Even though you’re just as beautiful as a human too.”

Blushing hard I very much appreciated my wolf form right then. This was embarrassing but also a bit silly. I rolled my eyes. Not really thinking that it would show exactly how much I understood. My mistake.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me? You so understand everything! So I guess I should filter myself then. It would only be fair since you’re not really pouring your soul out to me here.”

I sighed, I had closed that door myself and I was going to have to rely on my wolf skills to know his emotions now. A dove made a noise near us and it drew my attention back to the real world. I had been out here for hours! If I wanted to return home before Mia sent out a search party, or rather get home and shower before she and my mom figured out what I was up to, then I need to leave. I looked into the woods and sighed heavily. Adam picked up on it immediately, observant fucker.

“What? What is it? You need to leave?”

 I nodded.

“You need to leave. Okay.”

I turned away from him and began the long walk towards the woods. It was possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I was leaving a piece of my soul with him.

“Wait. Can I see you again? I could be back here tomorrow.” He was begging me, his scent had changed and my nostrils filled with sadness and loss, he smelled just like me. I didn’t look back. I didn’t want to give him hope that I couldn’t satisfy.

“Wolf!... Okay I get it….. I’ll be here though, hoping you’ll show.” He called out to me.

I stopped in the shadows of the trees and shot a glance over my shoulder and with one long sigh I began my way back home. A night out with Mike was surely needed.

chapter 4

Tags: adam lambert, adam/tommy, tommy joe ratliff, werewolves
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