PAIRING: Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff.
RATING: G (this chapter)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the boys, this is fiction and I only created this for fun. So have fun.
SUMMARY: Just fucking great, now I look like a raccoon too. Life is one big mean joke.
Beta: I_glitterz. thank you so much sweetheart.
Tommy is sitting on the stairs leading to his mother’s front door. His face hidden in his hands, a quiet sob shattering the silence surrounding him. Damn it, how he hated being this fragile, he was the one who was supposed to hold it together, being the only male left in the family. He never felt this alone before. It was like sitting in the scorching hot sand in the middle of the fucking desert. This was the first Holiday with the family after his dad’s death. This year had been full of first times after dad died, next year would be better, or at least he hoped so.
His mother looked at him from the kitchen window, tears rolling down her cheeks; she didn’t bother to dry them away. She didn’t exactly know who she was crying for right now, her departed husband, her lost or Tommy’s, and it didn’t matter. She knew her son well enough to know that if she would try to make him feel better, he would try to shake off the sorrow, just to comfort her. He would try to take care of her, instead of himself. So she didn’t go, she just watched from a distance, hoping that at least the time Tommy spend crying now, would help him heal again.
Tommy let out an almost violet sigh that made his ribcage expend to the point of hurting. He dried his eyes and looked at his fingers. Just fucking great, now I look like a raccoon too. Life is one big mean joke.
He felt his phone vibrate, a small smile touched his face, he didn’t have to look at the phone to know who it was. He opened the message.
How are you holding up? Do you need me to come? I can be there in an hour. Just tell me to! Adam
Tommy shook his head partly in disbelief, partly in awe. Adam fucking Lambert, the most caring, loving and PUSHY guy he ever met, he was so fucking happy to call him his friend, his best friend.
But as much as he craves Adam’s empathy, he needs to face this on his own terms. If Adam was here, he would concentrate on him, because that seems to be the case every time they were in the same room. Adam just draws Tommy to him like a huge magnet. Tommy doesn’t quite understand it. Adam just makes him feel cared for. He doesn’t need to question it, at least not right now.
Now he has to help his mother and he needs time with his family. He looks at the message again as the phone vibrates one more time. One more text from Adam.
You’re not answering! Common Ratliff, that phone is like glued to you! Which just tells me, that you are thinking about how to tell me you are fine, without being fine. I am on my way!
Tommy snickers, a little pushy Lambert.
I am holding up, of course I’m not fine, but I will get there. Don’t want you here! Need to do this on my own….. still love you, though :-) see you at New Years, can’t wait.
Tommy looked at the message, he knew that Adam would be a little hurt by the “don’t want you here”, so he made it up to him and added glitterbaby and pushed send.
A minute later he had a response from Adam.
auch, that hurt! But I get it, miss you. I will call you later! And you will TALK to me babe. Adam
Tommy’s face lit up as he read the message. He needed the famous last word so he just answered Adam with a,
He put the phone back into his skinny jeans, a large smile on his lips, and a certain spark in his eyes. He was ready to face the world again.
The whole time, Tommy’s mom had been watching her son, she saw him stop crying, drying his eyes, she saw his frustration when he realized that his makeup was ruined. And she saw him looking at the phone as if it was a lifeline holding him together, and when she saw him shaking his head, she knew that it had to be Adam texting him. She couldn’t help but to smile as she saw the change in Tommy’s mood as the guys were texting. She loved to see Tommy smile like that and she adored Adam for putting it back on her son’s face.
As Tommy opened the door he hollered, “Mom?”
“In the kitchen dear.” Tommy came into the kitchen. Walking up behind his mom, he snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her back into a tight hug.
“I love you, mom, and I am not sure I tell you that enough.”
“I love you, too, Tommy, and absolutely not, a mom never gets tired of hearing that her kids love her,” they laugh a little, knowing that it is the sorrow that brought this up, but sometimes life needs to get twisted and hard before you recognize the things that matter.
Tommy’s mom clears her throat. She needs to talk to Tommy about Adam. And since her son hasn’t mentioned anything about him, she feels like she has to. “Tommy, can we talk? I need to get something of my chest.”
Tommy looked at her, he suddenly felt anxious, he felt his stomach twist, this had to be bad. “Sure mom, what’s up?”
“Sit down honey, and then I will make us a cup of coffee.”
Tommy shook his head, “No mom, just spill, coffee can wait.” She looked at him, holding his eyes in hers and she realized that she was scaring him a bit.
“Relax Tommy; it isn’t bad, just wanted to know a thing or two about your life!”
Tommy felt the tension leaving his body, “Oh, I thought it might be something about dad, I didn’t know?!!!” She sat down on a chair opposite of him, leaning over and reaching for his hands.
He grabbed hers and squeezed them a bit, “So ask away, what you want to know?”
“It is about Adam. I was watching you before……out on the stairs. I saw how sad you were, but then I saw you texting…… and your face just lit up again….”
“And? What has that to do with Adam? I’m not quite following you here mom!” his mom looked puzzled for a second, Tommy couldn’t help but to smile at her facial expression.
“Oh, but I thought that you were texting Adam, I could have sworn…… you had that look on your face…..”
Tommy interrupted her, “I was texting Adam and WHAT look?!” she smiled widely.
“So, I am just gonna ask Tommy….. Is Adam your boyfriend?”
Tommy looked at his mom, shocked. What the fuck???
“No mom, he is not, and why would you even think so?”
“It is the way you look at him, the way you are when around him, the way you talk about him….. I don’t know, but I kinda thought that you guys were in love,” Tommy tried to swallow, but his throat wouldn’t corporate. Shit, fuck, what the hell mom!!!
“You thought what???”
“I am sorry; I just wanted to tell you that I am fine with it, with Adam as a son in-law. It would be cool,” Tommy got off his chair, walking around in the kitchen like a caged lion. She followed every movement with her eyes. Oh, my dear lord, he doesn’t realize it yet, I wonder if Adam is just as blind as my poor boy!
Tommy pulled his hair out of his eyes, tugging is behind his ear. He stopped to look at is mom and slowly he kneeled down in front of her and took her hands in his.
“Mom, Adam is my best friend, and I love him very much. And I appreciate the acceptance but we don’t need it ok??” she smiled a warm and knowing smile.
“If you say so, but don’t hold back because of me alright? But seriously Tommy, you never thought about Adam that way?? WHAT I don’t believe it!! You forget how well I know you, and I have seen you guys together!” she kissed his forehead. Tommy’s thoughts went crazy, how the hell does she know? Does Adam know too? Damn it, I do NOT wanna think about that at all.
“And now, I really would appreciate it if you would help me clean up the garage. There might be something in there you want to keep,” Okay mom, that is called changing the subject, very smooth. I can do that. ”Sure mom, lets clean the garage.”
Later that evening, Tommy and his mother was sitting on the couch, coffee was on the table, the TV on, and the living room filled with a pleasant silence.
Tommy’s phone vibrated, he leaned back to get it out of his pocket, sometimes skinny jeans are a bitch! He looked at the picture of Adam lighting up the screen. One of his rare wide smiles was shining on his face, his brown eyes just a tad lighter than before. Adam
“Sorry mom, gotta take this one,” she smiled knowingly and slightly mocking back at him, “Adam, huh.”
Tommy nodded and stuck his tongue out at her, she laughed.
“Behave Tommy Joe Ratliff, I’m still your mother,” she said, trying to sound serious. She watched Tommy leaving the room, she frowned a bit when she heard him answering the call.
“What’s up babyboy, I missed hearing your sweet voice!”
Damn it Tommy, get your head out of your ass before it is too late, she thought to herself.